A thing I miss at grocery and drug stores are the displays of paperback books that were on view somewhere near the checkout, giving customers something to leaf through while a person ahead of them in line dug around for exact change (“I’m sure I have another nickel here somewhere”) or wrote a cheque (“Who do I make it out to?”).
The books themselves weren’t terribly thrilling, just a selection of bestselling authors alongside tried-and-trued staples such as westerns, romances, mysteries, and the odd novelty title (you couldn’t move in the early 1970s without seeing Coffee, Tea or Me? and Chariots of the Gods, both of which were marketed as non-fiction when they were actually as fact-based as an Archie comic).
Ubiquitous in these displays were thrillers, the kind of novel you buy to while away the time on a long plane trip or read on the beach. They had punchy titles and were by people like Robert Ludlum, Trevanian, Clive Cussler, and Frederick Forsyth, and promised intrigue, glamour, high stakes, double- and triple-crosses, spies, seductresses, and splendid locations. They’re a format that seems ripe for a revival, and I was thinking it would be fun to try my hand at it.
A writer should write about what they know, however, and what did I know of these things? Then, while listening to the news on the radio the other day, I heard three words that set my imagination alight. Ladies and gentlemen, in the rip-roaring, action-packed tradition of Ludlum’s The Bourne Identity, Trevanian’s The Eiger Sanction, Cussler’s The Mayan Secrets, and Forsyth’s The Odessa File, I bring you: The Coquihalla Protocol.
This novel will have it all: intrigue! drama! shadowy characters who aren’t what they seem (then again, maybe they are what they seem)! scheming, backstabbing, and treachery! gratuitous sex scenes! a tortured protagonist with a dark past and a love interest with a secret! the protagonist’s best friend, who is so nice that you know they’re going to be killed off halfway through! another character who is so decent, helpful, and sympathetic that they might as well carry around a sign saying “VILLAIN”!
And all of it set against the dramatic backdrop of the Highway Thru Hell itself, the Coquihalla. (Yes, a major clue that someone isn’t who they say they are is that they will consistently mispronounce the name.) This highway has everything you need for thrills and chills, from ice and snow to fog so thick it could be cut up and sold as slices, and an endless vista of trees that will doubtless have CGI mountains inserted post-production to break up the monotony when it’s turned into a Hollywood blockbuster.
Not dramatic enough for you? These thrillers whisk the reader to glamorous spots around the globe, and The Coquihalla Protocol is no different. You will be transported to the seething, pulsating metropolis that is the province’s capital; to the shining glass condo towers and mean streets of Vancouver; and to the den of international vice and intrigue that is Merritt. You’ll also get a glimpse of what really goes on under the seemingly placid surface of Kamloops, and might even take a trip to the glamorous heart of Alberta, when a plane is diverted from a scheduled landing at Fulton Field to Calgary instead, we apologize for any inconvenience and hope to get you to your destination as soon as the fog clears enough for us to land, please enjoy a complimentary drink and a bag of peanuts as soon as we return to cruising altitude.
And what about that movie version? I can see it now! An all-star cast, with Ryan Gosling in there somewhere — anywhere, I’m not fussy — and guest stars Rowan “Mr. Bean” Atkinson as Premier David Eby and Hugh “Downton Abbey” Bonneville as Transport Minister Rob Fleming. It’ll be huge.
The Coquihalla Protocol! From Highway Thru Hell to Expressway To Intrigue! Not coming soon to a drug store near you.